WHY I DIDN'T GET MY DAUGHTER'S EARS PIERCED

Before I begin, ear-piercing moms- I don't judge you or talk behind your back because you could totally judge me for one thing or another and I don't like to make it a point of throwing shit out of our humble apartment, yeah? This is my take on this. MY TAKE.

Questions like, "when are you going to pierce Arya's ears?", "why didn't you get her ears pierced when she was a baby?" or "why don't we get her ears pierced soon?". Sometimes even statements like, "you should get her ears pierced while she's a baby so she won't remember the pain", "she would look so good with earrings", "get her ears pierced so people would know she's a girl". And honestly for a year my natural response used to be smiling and explaining (at least trying to) why I don't wanna get her ears pierced so people would get off my back. But it's been almost a year and a half now and people are still on to that subject so...

First of all, just because I'm the mother doesn't mean that I have the right to pierce Arya's ears. Main fucking reason is that my daughter's ears are not my ears. Her body isn't my body. Her body belongs to her- so her body, her choice. We are making a decision that some see as irreversible for their baby, who may not even want their ears pierced when they grow up and to be honest we don't have the right to make body modification choices for our children. And anyway, piercing a baby's ears isn't even for the baby it's for us mothers- plain and simple. I think it's ridiculous to inflict unnecessary pain on- I'm sorry- an infant to satisfy my vanity. Babies are human, they're our babies. Not our toys. It's bad enough to be holding Arya down for immunization shots let alone holding her down just for earrings. So no- until she's ready to care for it herself, we're going earringless.

And second of all, I know for most people piercing a baby's ears is some sort of like a tradition. Like when a baby girl is born in their family, either a niece or a granddaughter, they should have her ears pierced in as early as weeks old (even newborns) but not me. I mean I've had almost all my relatives tell me to have arya's ears pierced but who cares? I'm the mother of the little girl whose earlobes they want to get punctured so bad and I could care less about what they say. I'm not making that devision for Arya. Like I said- her body, her choice.

I know they mean well but this is seriously the one parenting choice I can't understand. "Get her ears pierced so people would know she's a girl"? Then what are all those pink dresses and hugeass bows for? And anyway why would people even have to know if she's a girl? So they wouldn't say "wow your baby is so handsome!"? I've had random strangers tell me Arya was handsome and will surely break girls' hearts when she grows up- she was 3 weeks old wrapped in a pink floral printed blanket then but I didn't care because it's not my fault or my daughter's fault that some people are- I'm sorry- stupid for not being able to tell the difference. I'm not getting my daughters's ears pierced so people I don't even fucking know would know that the baby I'm holding is actually a girl. No, thank you.

I'm a first time mom at 21 and people often assume that young mothers are clueless and don't know shit and that's just plain bullshit. Stereotype much, eh? A lot of women may have become a mom at such a young age but we should not judge one another for the things we do and the choices we make. In this case, the thing I didn't do. I didn't get her ears pierced because that decision isn't for me to make and the truth is, Arya's just as cute without them- all babies are beautiful without us poking holes in their ears. When the time comes that she comes up to me and tells me she's ready to get her ears pierced, I'll happily take her to get it done. Then we'll go for some ice cream and make an awesome day out of it. I wouldn't wanna miss that chance just because I couldn't wait until she's able to make that decision for herself.

Effy x